If we can’t seem to do what we get mad at ourselves and beat ourselves senseless. Remember the person, thing, or pattern is your responsibility. Say the following to let you know that deserve to be whole.
- I am responsible for the victim thoughts which stay in my mind.
- I am responsible for denying what I know to be true about myself.
- I am responsible for the people with whom I surround myself.
- I am responsible for remaining in victim beliefs.
- I let my victim thoughts go.
- I affirm that I am healthy and whole.
Emotions play a lot in how we need to let go
Emotionally, we are drawn to people who feel familiar on an energetic level. That is, people who, on an emotional vibration level, resonate with us as being familiar.
It feels to us as if we have a strong connection to those people. In other words, we have an inner radar system that causes us to be attracted to people who resonate vibration in a way that is familiar on an emotionally intimate level.
We are attracted to people whose inner emotional dynamic is similar to our most powerful and earliest experience of emotional intimacy and love – our parents.”
“Codependents focus on others to keep from looking at self. We need to let go of focusing on the other person and start focusing inside to understand what is happening. Our adult patterns, the people we have been in relationship with, are symptoms – effects of our childhood wounding. We cannot solve a problem without looking at the cause. Focusing on symptoms (which our society is famous for: war on drugs; war on poverty: etc.) will not heal the cause.
The reason that we get involved with people who are unavailable, is because we are unavailable.”
We need to own our own worth – our own “Prince or Princess” ness – before we can be available for a healthy relationship with some one who has owned their own worth.
In my belief and experience, a person’s relationship to any dis-ease can be improved by the adaptation and integration of a Loving Spiritual belief system.
Focusing my time and energy on trying to change another person, or on controlling the outcome of a situation is a dysfunctional way to live life because it is not really living. Living happens in the moment – not in the future or the past.
One of the things I have control over, that I have the power to change, is what I am doing in the moment. I have the power to force myself to take an action. Not because I “should” – because it is the kind thing to do for me.
“Discernment is about learning to separate truth from lies, illusion from reality, fantasy from facts. It is about learning the difference between: emotional truth and Spiritual Truth; emotional impulse and intuitive guidance; being victimized and feeling like a victim. It is about recognizing the difference between a person that can be trusted and one who will betray us – between a soul connection and a emotional attraction to a person who is emotionally unavailable.”
Discernment is having the eyes to see, and the ears to hear
and the ability to feel the emotional energy that is Truth.
We cannot become clear on what we are seeing or hearing if we are reacting to emotional wounds that we have not been willing/able to feel and subconscious attitudes that we have not been willing/able to look at.
“In order to stop giving our power away, to stop reacting out of our inner children, to stop setting ourselves up to be victims, so that we can start learning to trust and Love ourselves, we need to begin to practice discernment.
Having these strong emotional reactions is not a sign that we are crazy, it is just a symptom of codependency. It is important to stop judging and shaming ourselves – or blaming others – for these reactions. It is vital to start learning how to disarm those buttons – how to heal our emotional wounds.”
“This gut wrenching survival fear has been running our lives – whether we were charging through life in denial of it, or allowing it to totally dominate our reality. It is vital to learn how to start taking power away from this survival fear.
Emotional discernment starts when we can detach from the feeling enough to take an honest look at reality. It may feel terrifying, may feel life threatening – but is that the truth?”
I am afraid _______
If that happens, then what?
If that happens, then what?
If that happens, then what?
If that happens, then what?
The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past, not to worry
about the future, or not to anticipate troubles,
but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
-Siddartha Guatama Buddha
One form of releasing for childhood abuse is called rebirthing.
What is rebirthing? As Leonard Orr would define it, ‘it is breathing air and breathing energy’ and ‘it is breaking the birth-death cycle’.
Let us stay with the first definition. In rebirthing one does not just learn to breathe a particular way, by following the instructions of the teacher.
Rather one learns from one’s own breath.
But, one follows a certain pattern and observes the emotions / issues / thoughts that come up and one just breathes through those too.
Other names for rebirthing are ‘conscious connected breathing’ and ‘divine energy breathing’. Rebirthing can, and often does, result in a biological experience of God.
In Pranic Healing exercises, breathing is done with inhaling six counts holding two and exhaling six counts or four three and four three whatever make you more aware as you are breathing of what you are experiencing in you letting go or reclaiming what was taken from you.
Affirmations are positive thoughts that help us to create the universe of our choice.
Thus, rebirthing is similar to psychotherapy in that it believes in accessing the information in the sub/unconscious mind, but it differs in that it does not require an analysis of the situation nor a reliving of the feelings but a simple, gentle connected breathing.
Birth may be one of the most traumatic and dangerous experiences we undergo in our lives. Even before our births, our consciousnesses are already gathering and storing information from our past life or lives’ experiences in our developing bodies; in addition, the thoughts, feelings and emotions of our mothers as they carry us.
This information is gathered unfiltered, and we accept it as the truth without judgment or evaluation. For instance, if our expectant mothers ever said in a moment of anger or frustration: “I don’t want this baby; this is too much for me; we have no money for this baby,” we might be born with the thoughts or feelings that we are not wanted, that we are burdens to those around us or the ones we love the most.
The long lasting impact of in soul information, even if we reach false conclusions, can have devastating effects on our lives as we continue to grow. The soul of an unborn child for example, can fragment in child hood due to traumatic family events, confrontations or discussions about abortion.
The use of loving, centered rebirthing techniques can energetically clear us from a wide range of distorted thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Some indications for the appropriateness of reframing birth experiences would be a female’s trouble with their menstrual periods, conflicts about an imminent marriage, confusion around a pregnancy, excess fear or indecision about having children, or strange fearful or over-anxious emotions associated with motherhood.
These particular patterns can be traced back to several types of experiences. These challenges could be the result of an in uteri experience or fear that was picked up from the mother during pregnancy. Other times, the root of the difficulty or trauma occurred in past lives when the woman actually died in childbirth or lost young infants in traumatic ways.
If someone has ever (present or past life) experienced painful or traumatic births, you can help recreate different birth experiences for them. A good time to do this would be during an Energetic Clearing Release in a Heart and Soul Session.
The individual is taken back through their birth, going backwards in time to just before they were born. It is important that the individual not re-experience any of the birth trauma, such as feelings of abandonment or separation that occurred during their actual birth. Have them return directly to the warmth and safety of their mothers’ womb.
Regardless of the real circumstances of their birth, assist them to create new birth experiences with all the things that they would have liked to have felt, such as closeness and warmth in the womb and excitement about coming to Earth. Lead them gently up to the moment of their birth. Make the birth easy.
Have the individual be immediately connected to their mother and gently treated by the doctor and attending staff. Suggest that the lights in the delivery room be soft and the room is warm.
Address anything specifically that you know may have previously traumatized them, such as not being wanted, being roused or pulled out by forceps, cold rooms or scales, separation from their mother, painful drops in their eyes, etc.
Above all, help them to feel safe, comfortable and cared for.
Extenuating circumstances at birth may have caused this individual to create energetic programs that they are still holding on to today. If they were part of twin births for example, the wombs may have been too small and they might still be fighting for space or defending themselves from everyone. If they were a cesarean birth, they may have tendencies to put things off until the last moment, waiting for someone to rescue them. If they were forced with forceps or their births were induced, they may not trust their own timing or have confidence in their own decisions.
These techniques can help anyone recognize their self-worth and eliminate and release patterns surrounding the circumstances of their birth.
- Conscious connected circular, rhythmic energy breathing.
- No pauses or gaps between the breaths.
- The inhale is active, the exhale is passive.
- Consciously pull the breath in, and deliberately let the breath out.
- Breathe in and out through the same channel (that is in and out the nose or in and out the mouth.)
- The lesson is to breathe Energy, not just air.
The Rebirthing Technique can be called “Conscious Energy Breathing.” The technique involves a continuous, uninterrupted flow of breath energy. Breathing is sent to the entire breathing cavity, filling it top to bottom, side to side, front to back. There is no holding or forcing, no pushing or blowing. The speed, depth, rate, or volume is intuitive, but generally fuller and freer than “normal.”
It sounds simple. When we are holding on to something that we don’t need – we should probably let go. So why do we find it so difficult?
Attachment shapes our life from childhood. We form a bond with our parents, and these early relationships have an impact on all future relationships. When these relationships change, or when we experience a loss, we are faced with the difficult process of letting go. We usually don’t want to let go. We want to continue the attachment which has given us such fulfillment. We often want to continue the attachment even when it is no longer rational to want it.
There has been much written about the process of coping with a loss. Some have divided grief into stages. The most commonly cited stages, based on the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Recent work suggests that these are tasks, rather than stages. We all go through them in a different order, and we have to work through them rather than passively experience them. The final stage, acceptance, involves letting go and moving on.
People who are very stressed often have increased muscle tension. This tension can result in headaches, neck and shoulder pain, joint pain (such as TMJ pain), and other problems. Various relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation, biofeedback, and hypnosis all help people reduce muscle tension. Physical approaches such as massage therapy and yoga can also be very helpful. People participating in these techniques learn to let go of this tension in their body. Many find it easy to let go of cares and worries during a time when they are also letting go of muscle tension.
We are beginning to discover that there are health benefits to letting go. People who worry a lot and hold on to problems may be more vulnerable to physical problems than people who are able to let go. Anger and hostility have even been associated with heart attack risk. At least two personality types have been connected with an increased risk of heart attack. Type A and Type D personalities both involve an inability to let go. The type A person is pressured and driven, while the type D person is worried and anxious. By learning to let go of cares, worries, anger, deadline pressure, and similar concerns we may be lengthening our lives. We are certainly making them more enjoyable.
What about getting over an ex?
What Happens When You Visit Your Old Haunts?
There may be places all over your town that remind you of your former lover. For example, if you and your ex loved to spend Saturday mornings at the independent coffee shop down the street, you may think of him every time you drive by. Or, if your first kiss was at an amusement park, you may think nostalgically about the relationship every time you return for a visit.
Thinking about your ex occasionally isn’t necessarily bad. After all, if you really loved someone then you can’t just expect to erase him completely from your memory.
What about when old pictures fall out of a book not looked at for awhile. If your remember that person was part of you, but as you grew apart or where left behind for greener pasture or even left for you own safety and you feel depressed stopping your day of accomplishing things and joy.
This means you still need to release that person. We then have to recall all the reason it did not work not Romanize the memories from the good times. Stick with the cold hard and sometimes hurtful facts. Releasing and living is the best way of moving into a new life full of love and respect for oneself.
If you pause to fondly remember the love you shared with that person and then proceed to enjoy your day, chances are that you’ve moved on.
How Often Do You Think About Him?
It’s normal to think of your ex when you visit your old haunts or when he comes up in conversation. But do you think of him at random times when you should be focused on something else?
Let’s say you’re at the mall, shopping for a birthday present for a friend. If every time you walk into a store you think, “That shirt would look good on him,” or “I bet he’d love to play that game,” then you may be trapped in an unhealthy pattern.
Letting go of clutter in your bedroom and through out your house physically can be about your minds clutter.
Remember, it’s not clutter if you really love it. Always keep in mind that it’s ok to keep the things you really appreciate, this is more about discovering what you love and separating those things out from the overwhelming mass of “stuff” in your surroundings so you can have more freedom to enjoy your life. Make sure that you really want to do this, and are not doing it because you “should”, or because someone else in your life is pressuring you. This is powerful work, and will affect many areas of your life as you clear the space to receive.
Many people think of letting go as having less, but actually, there are many more things you will have MORE of: freedom, peace of mind, ease of access. Almost all my clients are amazed at how much more abundance they feel when they start letting go of the “too much” in their lives. Try it—it’s catching! When you are ready to start, I recommend you take a deep breath, be thankful for your willingness to do this difficult work, and enjoy the process!
1. Set aside a short period of time and identify one place to start—one cabinet, one drawer, one closet, so you don’t get overwhelmed. Keep in mind why you are doing this; to clear your energetic field of the things that no longer serve you and to discover who and what you are truly about. There is a freedom in this process that will deeply release you.
2. If there is something that you are sentimentally attached to because of the memory or person it reminds you of but you don’t love the item, consider taking a photograph and then giving away or tossing the object.
3. Before you begin, set a numerical standard for your environment, such as, “I will only keep things that I consider more that an ‘8’ [or whatever number feels right for you]”. As you sort through your things, assign them a number, and stick to your policy. It is amazing how well this works for some people!
4. As you have your hands on the item, simply ask yourself, “do I LOVE it?” If not, let it go. Most people never ask themselves that question, and end up surrounded with things they don’t even want, need or care for.
5. Make a policy for your collections, such as magazines, i.e. I will only keep the issues from the previous three months, or I will donate or give away any clothing that I haven’t worn in the last year.
6. Create a “memorabilia box”, and keep only your most prized treasures there. This way, you can consciously choose the things you love the most and let go of the rest.
7. Use the mantra, “I can keep the memory, and let go of the thing.”
8. Ask yourself, “why am I keeping this?” and really listen for the answer.
9. Choose a friend or family member you trust to sit with you for this process. For many people, letting go is easier with someone else there.
10. Literally KISS the item goodbye. If you used to love something, try giving it a goodbye kiss just before letting it go. Somehow, this closes an energetic door with the item, while acknowledging your feelings about it.
11. Many people attach the feelings they have for the giver of the gift to the item, and therefore have a hard time letting go of such things as Aunt Mary’s orange, yellow and brown crocheted afghan, even though it doesn’t fit with their color scheme (nor would it ever!). In this case, try “breathing in” all of the energy of Aunt Mary from the item, and the see how easy it is to let go!
12. Create a “decompression chamber”—a shelf or drawer near where you are working, for the “maybe” items. Tell yourself that this chamber can remove the emotional charge you have on the item from the item itself. In a few hours, go back to the item and see if you still want to keep it, once it has been “de-charged”. It’s amazing how effective this can be!
Releasing attachment: A little known secret of the greatest teachers
Releasing is an important practice for successful goal achievement. It has to do with letting go of attachment to something or someone. How do you know when you’re attached to a goal? If you find yourself obsessing and worrying about the goal as opposed to being enthused and enjoying thinking about it, you’re attached. You’re attached when you believe that in order to be happy, you must reach this goal. If these signs appear, then it’s very important for you to practice releasing.
The technique is simple but not easy. You just decide to let go of your attachment to getting the goal. In other words, you decide that if for some reason you do not reach this goal, life will go on and you will still be happy. Believe it or not, this is a very important part of the process of reaching your dream.
If you’re too attached, worried, obsessed or tense other people feel it and pull away from you instead of helping. When you’re enthusiastic, inspired and radiating confidence, other people will be magnetically attracted to you and will help and support you.
Release attachment to control:
There are some things in your life that you can control. All of them have to do with actions you can take or internal changes you can make inside yourself. You cannot control other people, events or circumstances. You can make the best of what you are given as in “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” and you can release attachment to making things fit your model of the world. When you practice this kind of release on a regular basis, you will find peace and abundance creeping into your life.
Forgiveness, another kind of release.
Forgiveness actually is a releasing process that involves letting go of negative feelings and resentments you’re holding towards other people. When you forgive others, you are actually helping yourself more than them. If you are able to let go of holding on to the negative thoughts and feelings you have about others, you become much lighter and freer with a lot more energy. Many well-known success teachers such as Oprah, Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer mention forgiveness as an important step in creating abundance and peace in your life.
How to handle bad days and good days:
Sometimes as you’re working hard to get to your goals you’ll find that you have really bad days when you feel like you’re getting nothing done. This is a time to release your attachment to being extremely productive every day and just accept what’s happening. You will also find that some days are just great, it’s also important on these days to release attachment to all days being like this. We all go through energy cycles, ups and downs and highs and lows.
Release things you don’t need anymore:
Go through all of your excess “stuff” and start getting rid of (releasing) what you aren’t using or don’t need. This is a technique that will really open up space in your world for new things. It will also increase your energy and help you to feel more deserving. Go through every room in your home including the kitchen and either sell or give away those things that may be secretly draining your energy every day!
Open your mind to alternative strategies for reaching your goals:
By learning to accept feedback and constructive criticism, you will be able to expand your thinking and become much more creative. Often what holds people back are “control patterns or ego attachments” where a person thinks, “Their way is the only way”. There may be many ways to get to the same goal and some of them might be faster or more efficient than others.
Sometimes a particular strategy may have worked well in the past but with changing conditions, this may no longer be true. If you can only open your mind to one way of doing something, you limit your progress. Make a point of accepting help and ideas from others in rethinking goals strategies. Don’t be attached to being right.
Great stress release technique:
Here’s a great technique to help you instantly release stress and resistance. Imagine yourself breathing in harmony and relaxation, and then when you breathe out let go of stress and negativity. Do this for about 5 or 10 minutes. This simple process can be surprisingly useful for putting you into a relaxed and clear state in just a few minutes so that you’ll be more effective in working on your goals.
Love your goal but release attachment to the form:
It’s really great to love your goal and be committed to it, but be willing to be flexible in the way it shows up. For example, you may want to earn an additional $5,000 through an investment and instead your uncle leaves you $5,000 in his will. We never have control over how the exact outcome of our goals will show up. The releasing part of reaching a goal is just as important as feeling passion and energy for it.
Some fun ways to release fear:
Draw your fear with colored pens or crayons or make a play dough model of it. Or scribble with colored pens or crayons until you feel a sense of release. This technique may sound simplistic or silly but it is a really good way to release fear. Both authors have used it and found it to be tremendously effective. If you find yourself resisting using these techniques or you find that your fear leads to panic or is chronic, you probably need professional help.
Gratitude for what you have:
This may be one of the most important tips in this entire report. Being grateful for what you have allows you to focus on the positive elements in your life, value the gifts you’ve already been given and appreciate the fruits of your goal setting efforts. When you’re having a rough period where you’re starting to judge yourself negatively, gratitude can break that pattern by shifting your focus to the positive things in your life.
These basic tips are organized in a sequence that will support you from thinking about your goals to actually achieving them. Don’t forget, these are only suggestions, take what you like and try it out for a while to see what works best for you. Have fun and play; Don’t make your goals “should” but “wants”.
Getting started is simple if you start with the following steps 1 to 11.
1. Use a journal to keep track of your goals journey where you may keep daily or weekly records of your progress including affirmations, successes, appreciations for your hard work, rewards, resistances, obstacles, etc. Use your goals journal to write goals initially and to rewrite them over time. Use it to break your goals into steps. Review your progress regularly and jot a few notes.
There are a number of paper and digital methods for keeping these records such as notebooks, planners or professional goal tracking software. Develop consistent habits of writing about your thoughts and goal progress. It will propel you forward at a faster pace. Use colored pens and playful things like stickers and pictures, have fun!
2. Get yourself into a positive state before writing your goals: It’s really important to get yourself into an inspired, positive and relaxed state before writing goals. Some ideas for getting yourself into a positive state include: Meditation, listening to inspiring music, reading something fun or funny, watching a funny movie, taking a walk in a naturally beautiful place, brisk exercise, reading or listening to an inspirational story, listening to motivational tapes, brisk exercise or prayer.
3. Start brainstorming: After getting into a good mental and emotional state, start your brainstorming. Write all possible goals quickly without any editing or criticism. You can review and prioritize later; right now you want to be as creative and grand in your vision as you can be.
4. Areas of your life to consider for goal setting: Here are a number of possible areas of your life to think about when you are developing your goals list: Career, financial, relationship, family, home, friends, personal development, health, appearance, possessions, fun and recreation, travel, spiritual, self esteem and service/community. Some types of goals include: personal development such as emotional, mental, physical and spiritual.
Then there are “thing” goals like vacations, cars, yachts, antiques, houses, etc. Another area is financial goals—savings, net worth, retirement income, investments, etc. Make sure you include some health and energy goals because they are the foundation of a successful and satisfying life.
5. Goals time frames: Goals fall into varying time periods such as: Immediate goals, 30 day goals, 6 month goals, 1 year goals, 5 years, 10 years or longer. Make sure you can accomplish what you want in the time frame you set.
There are mixed opinions on how specific the deadline dates on goals should be. The authors use different methods; Joel usually puts specific deadlines on his goals. Teddi uses general time frames (i.e. a few months or within a year) but not exact dates. They both get good results.
6. Here are four tips for writing effective goal statements:
* Say it like it’s already happened: When writing your goal, say it like it has already happened. Put your goals in words that assume that you already have achieved them. For example, “I now have a new silver BMW 4 door 2002 sedan.”
* Use motivating language: To get you passionate, committed and motivated, add emotional language to your written goals. Here’s an example “I absolutely love and am excited about my beautiful new home in the hills” which is much more passionate than “I like my new home in the hills”.
* Write specifically and in detail: Because your subconscious manifests things literally, you want to write specific detailed goals. Use language that is clear in describing exactly what it is you want
* Write in positive terms rather than negative ones: Examples of positive statements might be: “I am now free of the habit of smoking”, or “I am now a smoke free person”. Negative examples might be: “I don’t smoke anymore” or “I’m not a smoker”.
7. Be sure they’re really your goals: Check in with yourself to make sure that you’re thinking about what you really want. Often we try to please others at our own expense. You won’t be successful trying to reach the goals your parents, spouse or other friends or relatives want for you.
8. Be congruent in creating goals: Consider your most important values and beliefs when formulating your goals (e.g. honesty, security, integrity, freedom, responsibility, respect for others, love, leadership, etc.). For instance if you value freedom, your goal might be to be self-employed. If security is what you value, you might want to work for the government where layoffs rarely occur.
9. Choose rational goals: Choose goals that you can actually reach in a reasonable amount of time. An example of a rational goal might be: “I’m 55 years old and I want to sing opera with a local light opera performance group, a choir, or monthly recitals with my voice teacher’s students” (given of course that you have a good voice). An irrational goal might be: “I’m 55, I’ve never taken singing lessons, and I want to be a world class opera singer performing key roles with the New York Metropolitan Opera”. It’s unlikely that anyone starting at the age of 55 could do this, even with an excellent voice and rigorous training.
10. Prioritize your goals: After you’ve brainstormed, one way to prioritize is to put the highest priority goals at 10 out of a possible 10 points and the least important at 1 out of 10. Pick 3-7 of the goals with high numbers and focus your efforts only on them for the next few months. Try not to pick too many goals to focus on as this will dilute your energy and make it harder to get the results you want.
11. Create a step-by-step plan: Break each goal down into manageable blocks creating a step-by-step plan to achieve it. For example, if you want a new car, first decide exactly what color, model, year, and brand you want. Write this down in your goals journal. Then write the specific steps you need to get to your goal such as: Apply for a car loan, look at and test drive different models, write affirmations, visualize yourself driving the car, etc.
Resistance and procrastination:
Ways to identify and overcome these goal stealers
Everyone finds at certain times that they just can’t move forward, they are stuck…has this ever happened to you? It may mean that you need to reformulate your goals. It might be helpful to go back to brainstorming or other goal setting basics. This can also be a sign that it’s time to get creative and find other more enjoyable ways to get where you want to go. Getting help from others can be particularly useful at these times.
Internal roadblocks that keep you from advancing towards your goal can stem from temporary lack of focus or fear. Outside distractions like too much partying, TV or computer games can also stop your forward momentum. Some people distract themselves with extra long “to do” lists of unimportant tasks that take up time that might be better spent focusing on high priority items.
However, resistance and procrastination may be a sign of distress stemming from deeply held programming or blockages from childhood. Another possibility is that you may have a deep-seated fear of success and the responsibilities that come with it, or you may fear failure so much that you don’t even try anything. When you encounter obstacles such as these, it is useful to get support from a therapist or other professional. A professional can help you explore your internal motivation so
that you can release what gets in the way of your creating a life you love to live.
List obstacles in your journal: Writing down both inner and outer obstacles to reaching your goals can help you to become more aware of what is getting in your way. And it can help you overcome them. Often just being conscious of the difficulties helps you to find creative solutions.
For example, your goal may be to develop a successful business that nets you one million dollars in 3 years. Examples of external obstacles you might face in reaching this goal could be; recent challenges in getting a bank loan; a lot of competition in your type of business; or family members who are unsupportive or negative about your idea. Inner obstacles might be: your own belief system, that says; “you will never succeed with your own business”; a belief that you don’t really deserve what you want; or fear of failure.
Writing such obstacles down takes them out of your head and puts them on paper where you can get a helpful degree of objectivity.
What are the payoffs for not reaching your goal? One payoff for not reaching your goal may reflect a part of you that says; “I don’t want to change. Attaining this goal will force me to become a new person and I’ll have to move out of my comfort zone”. Or, “reaching this goal might put me in a position of power and I don’t like giving orders, directions or commands”. It might also be that, “reaching this goal will require me to have to work much harder than I do now, I may have to take risks or do things I’ve always been afraid of.”
You might become so successful that you could lose friends. So another payoff for not reaching your goal is to keep your present friends. Yet another payoff for not reaching your goals or having “problems” is that you get to play victim and have people feel sorry for you. You may get extra attention for having a problem. It’s human nature to want to keep the status quo of comfort and security.
Ways to release negative feelings: In your Goals Journal, write down anything negative that comes into your mind. Keep writing until you have a sense of completion. If you find that the negative feelings you face repeat over and over like an obsession, consider getting professional help.
Explore inner and outer conflicts: When you start losing energy or passion for your goals, explore any conflicts you uncover. Ask questions in your journal with your dominant hand and answer with the non-dominant hand. See if this helps bring clarity into the issue you’re facing. You can also use your Goals Support Group to help you understand your motivations. Sometimes you may have a conflict with another person that is somehow impeding your progress, at other times you actually have a conflict inside yourself. You may find that the answer is simple and only requires tools that you will find here or…you may find that you need professional help.
Take action on things you’ve been putting off: Make a list of all the important things you’ve been putting off and start doing them. These things may not necessarily be directly related to your goal. Put them on your “to do” list. Denis Waitley, a well-known success trainer, says that he writes down the five most important tasks that he has put off for the last month and then makes sure to take steps towards finishing them. You break out of being stuck by doing and taking action. Willingness to take action creates the energy to do something. This is an extremely powerful technique that will really help remove resistances and catapult you ahead!
Find your “problem areas” that may be holding you back: The concept of “problem areas” is that you may have a weakness in a certain area or a lack of skill which holds you back in other parts of your life. For instance, a salesperson tells the story of being reasonably successful but hating cold calling and prospecting. Once he made the commitment to focus and overcome the resistance and fear he had about taking action, his sales career really took off. Not doing this was holding him back even though he was quite successful in his other work activities. Figure out what your “problem areas” are that may be holding you back in your desire to reach your goals. Start taking action on them today!
Another way of letting go of stress is to do the following:
Sit down with your legs extended and cross your feet, so your outside ankle is touching the inside ankle of your other foot.
- Sitting up straight, cross your right wrist over your left so you make a V shape with your hands. Now, bend both hands down until your fingers on each hand touch – let your fingers mesh between each other and clasp your hands together.
- Now pivot your interlocked hands toward your body and bring both arms closer to your chest until your still-interlocked hands touch your chest just under your chin.
- Next, focus your mind on exactly what it was that frustrated you, aggravated you, caused fear or sadness and lock your mind into exactly that feeling.
- Keep this up for 3-4 minutes, your mind should eventually go blank.
What you have done is let your mind deal with the frustration fully instead of what we normally do which is suppress the feeling and move on quickly while our mind and body are left in an “open” state not having dealt with the full impact and feeling of the stressor.
Over time, a large number of these open issues create a toxic state in our bodies and manifest themselves as emotional and eventually, health issues.
I have to say I felt incredibly rejuvenated, energized and empowered since I knew I had learned a new technique putting me in more control over my reaction to stressful situations.
How about you — do you have a specifically powerful stress reduction technique?
Poke the anger away is another technique
Poking or tapping certain parts of your body while thinking of the upsetting situation can change your energy and release the uncomfortable feelings. After the pressure or tapping, the information is stored differently in your body. Your energy flows more freely. Often the angry thoughts about the issue spontaneously change after doing this technique.
Here’s What You Do
This step by step procedure gives you tasks to do that involve different parts of your body and your brain.
Start with a small thing that upsets you while you learn this Thought Field Technique.
- 1. Think about what upsets you. How upset are you–a little, some or quite a bit?
- 2. Gently tap on the inside of your little finger near the nail with the finger of your other hand. Tap 12-15 times.
- 3. Tap on your collarbone lightly 12-15 times.
- 4. Tap on back of your hand between the knuckles of your little finger and ring finger.
- 5. Keep tapping. Close your eyes. Open your eyes.
- 6. Look down to the right. Keep tapping on the back of your hand through step 12.
- 7. Look down to the left. (These eye movements put information in different parts of the brain)
- 8. Roll your eyes in a large circle.
- 9. Roll your eyes in a big circle the other direction.
- 10. Hum any short tune ( a creative task to put information into the right brain)
- 11. Count to five ( a linear task to put information into the left brain)
- 12. Hum a tune again.
- 13. Think about the angry situation. How upset are you? A little, some, a lot?
- 14. Tap on the inside of your little finger again 12-15 times.
- 15. Tap on your collarbone 12-15 times.
- 16. Take a deep breath, stretch, sigh and let it go. Now how angry are you?
- 17. Say “I forgive ____ , I know he or she did the best they could do” three times while tapping across the palm of your hand.
Still Stressed? Eyes Up and Down Technique
- Tap on your knuckles between your ring and little finger.
- Hold your head level and look down at the floor.
- Slowly raising your eyes to the ceiling. Do this three times. How angry you now?
Repeat the Thought Field procedure until your level of anger goes down. This technique is revolutionary!
REMEMBER WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY, JUST POKE IT!
Imagine giving back the memories to your ex or someone who has hurt you.
When we are close to another human being, whether it’s our children or our spouses, we form energy bonds with them. For example, my mother always seems to know when I need her to call me, and I’ve been away from home for 20 years! (And doesn’t every mother know when their kids are doing something wrong in the other room? )
There is a technique I learned to break the bonds of energy when the physical relationship is no longer there. It is a very difficult technique to do, because you have to WANT to disconnect from that person on all levels.
Examine your heart and mind, and decide if you are really ready to break the bonds between yourself and someone who is not in your life any longer.
Then, try this technique. Imagine you and your (ex-spouse, ex-lover, ex-whatever)standing face-to-face. Imagine that there are “ropes of light” extending from his chakras to your chakras.
Now, imagine a HUGE pair of scissors coming from the sky and cutting each rope.
You may have to do this part many, many times to make sure all the connections are broken.
Finally, imagine that you have a box in which you have kept every part of your ex that he/she gave you.
Imagine giving this box back to him/her, with thanks and kindness, and imagine asking him/her to give you back your box as well. Imagine exchanging these boxes, then turning, and walking away from each other.
Letting go in journey of the mind through enteric travel
Destination Paradise
Take five deep breaths holding each for three seconds, then releasing slowly while relaxing the body. As you breathe out slowly, think the word peace.
You’re going to vacation in 1,500 mile-high city of God.
In the center is a garden paradise, lush with Amazon flowers, trees and colorful, tropical birds.
A shallow stream meanders through color-covered banks.
A rubber raft is on the shore and you are going for a ride.
Get in the raft.
Imagine yourself drifting, the hot sun bathing you in light as you watch the birds and dragonflies.
A gentle breeze blows through the tree tops.
It’s a perfect day; a perfect temperature.
And you have nothing to do but float downstream in paradise.
Breathe deeply, releasing slowly. Really let yourself go.
Let go and trust in God.
Let the tension go.
Let the worry go.
Let the fear go.
Be at peace because you are safe.
If you start becoming tense, refocus on breathing deeply and slowly, saying peace with each exhalation.
Letting Go
Once you are comfortable, become aware of your breathing.
Breathe deeply like you are drinking in oxygen to a thirsty body. Take a deep breath and let it go slowly. When you breathe out, imagine you are exhaling all the worry, fear, pain and doubt from your body. Feel it leaving. As you breathe in, the life-giving oxygen is filling every cell with life. You are becoming more at peace with each breath. You are safe. See the problems in your life. Consider them for only a second, then give them all to God. And then comes a peace that transcends all chocolate chip cookies.
If you feel uncomfortable, reassure yourself that it is okay to put your problems in the bag.
Peace
Get into a relaxed state by breathing in until the lungs are full, holding for two seconds, then breathing out slowly, while thinking peace.
You are ready for battle.
To the food that you are resolved to give up, you will boldly shout “NO.”
The foods to which you are not ready to give up, you will weakly say “NO.”
Consider why you are not willing to give them up.
Write all the reasons why you do not want to eat that food so your resolve is strengthened, then try the exercise again.
If you spend time doing this, and you face a temptation, your response to that food will be an immediate “NO.”
Body Relaxation
Scan your body from head to foot. Are there any areas of tension?
If so, take a few deep breaths, hold, then release slowly, saying “relax” to these parts.
Are your neck muscles or jaw tense?
Focus on relaxing these muscles. Do you have tightness in the shoulders?
How are your emotions?
Are you fighting worry or anxiety?
Is there a feeling of hurt?
To these uncomfortable emotions, say “peace” and let go.
Create a feeling of contented relaxation. Do not wrestle with your thoughts.
Watch how they enter your thinking and gather momentum and feelings.
Just keep letting go, saying “peace” to yourself and relaxing the muscles.
Let Go and Enjoy
Tight people lead miserable lives. We take ourselves too seriously.
We take the war with food too seriously. When we stop being kids, we stop having fun. Even the hardest things like dieting can be fun. We can win by loosening up.
Compulsive eaters eat in a tense manner. When we eat anxiously, we are eating in a dazed state, similar to biting the nails and not truly conscious of what we are doing. The enjoyment is greatly reduced and we keep eating to feel satisfied. But, eating in a dazed state never satisfies. Your mouth is chewing, but your mind is worrying. You didn’t enjoy the food; you ate a plate of problems. Relaxation breaks that pattern. Relax before eating, during eating, at the refrigerator door or whenever you feel tension or are eating compulsively. A few slow, deep breaths reduce tension and anxiety. Slowing down makes food more enjoyable and helps you to eat less. Become relaxed and be at peace several times per day. The Bible calls peace a guard, because peace protects us from distorted, compulsive, obsessive thinking. Wouldn’t you love to be at peace?
Imagination
Enter a relaxed state through taking deep breaths,
holding for two seconds, and releasing slowly as you say the word peace.
Here are some effective visualization exercises that will build enthusiasm to eat correctly, and stay positive.
Imagine yourself living perfectly on your desired diet. See the joy on your face and imagine how good your body feels.
Imagine you going through the day and eating perfectly, being happy and eating healthy foods.
When you get home from work, visualize yourself going into the house happy and content and eating the right foods.
If you are going to a restaurant with some friends, imagine yourself ordering a small portion of something nutritious and being content with that.
Whatever task you are about to do, imagine it going easy. Imagine it being fun and enjoyable completing the task.
Before you go to bed, imagine yourself having good, relaxing dreams and a peaceful sleep.
If you are entering a conflict, imagine it all working out and the conflict being resolved.
If you are learning an instrument or playing a sport, see yourself doing it perfectly.
Before you go to the gym, imagine you are going to have an excellent workout and feel good about it.
See yourself with no needs, content and wanting nothing.
In healing ourselves we use many techniques, but find what works for you and when you feel the need to let go do so.
Remember that we all have issues if we dwell on the small imperfections in our life they can stop us in many ways so remember to release, reclaim, and rejuvenate towards a complete life.
Patti LaBelle sang this song to me when I was starving myself to get approval from my father and mother. I lost over 130 pounds in an unhealthy manner. At a concert,
Miss LaBelle looked out into the crowd and was dedicating this song to her remaining sisters fighting for their lives against cancer and a friend dying of aids.
Then she said, “Little girl in the fifth row, Miss Patti don’t know why you are so thin, but this song is for you.” The title is “There’s A Winner In You”.
THERE’S A WINNER IN YOU
By Patti LaBelle
It’s only me
I’ve come to see you
And I know
What you have been through
I will be your friend
Lean on me for now
But to pull you back up
Somehow
I’ll have no more of this moping around
I’m tired of you putting yourself down
But in spite of all you’ve been through
I still believe
There’s a winner in you
Sometimes you can see it
From the tip of your mind
And can’t focus at all times
If the wind touch you to another
Before you discover
There’s a winner
There’s a hero
There’s a lover too
Somewhere
There’s a winner in you
I’ll have no more of this moping around
I’m tired of you putting yourself down
But in spite of all you’ve been through
I still believe
There’s a winner in you
There’s a winner
There’s a hero
There’s a lover too
Somewhere
There’s a winner in you
There’s a winner
There’s a hero
There’s a lover too
Somewhere
There’s a winner in you